Do you remember learning how to ride a bike? In the beginning, you likely had training wheels which helped keep you from falling. This was helpful for a season, but eventually, the day comes when you inevitably have to take off the training wheels and progress to the next stage. Here, you have to find your balance, learn how to pedal to create momentum, and how to make the necessary adjustments to keep yourself from falling.
Not falling is a big deal when you are learning to ride a bike. It consumes you. Inevitably, you fall a few times, skin your knees, and get some gravel in your hands. Naturally, you begin to do whatever it takes to avoid repeating that painful experience in the future.
For the first season of learning to ride a bike, not falling takes a huge amount of focus. Then, as you progress, it becomes less of a concern. Eventually, there comes a time when you barely have to think about falling at all.
And here’s the thing—are you ready for it? Getting free from porn and stubborn struggles in our lives feels a lot like learning to ride a bike.
In the beginning, it feels like most of your conscious energy is put toward the goal of not falling. To this end, you take steps to protect yourself. You have some “training wheels” in place, along with some other mechanisms of protection. But over time, as you find your balance and rhythm, the journey becomes less and less about not falling, and more about just riding. You begin to enjoy going places you couldn’t before. You feel the fresh wind in your face and the exhilaration of racing over the pavement on a summer day. You make memories riding together with friends, laughing, racing, and having fun together. It’s liberating.
Said another way, you begin to feel alive.
Whatever your reason for getting free—that’s really the point, isn’t it? You want to feel alive. And if you feel like that’s not a very spiritual reason, you don’t have to worry. Look no further than the words of Jesus himself:
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full..” —John 10:10 NIV, emphasis added
If you ask the average church-going Christian why Jesus came, you’ll probably get an answer like, “Jesus came to die on the cross for our sins” or “He came to save the world.” Answers like that might answer the what—but they fail to address the why. Jesus’s birth, life, death, and resurrection had a mission behind it—and that mission is this. He wanted to bring us back to life and lead us into the life God has for us.
Why doesn’t God want you to look at porn? Is it because He needs you to follow rules for Him to be happy—or is it because he knows where looking at porn will take you, and he is grieved when you walk away from the life He created you for and into death?
Read this next statement very carefully. Write it down. Recite it. Memorize it. Do whatever you need to do to get it deep within you.
Jesus doesn’t want me to look at porn because He knows it leads to death, and His heart for me is that I would be fully alive.
That’s what this journey is all about. This is about nothing less than getting your life back.
And if we want life—if we want the life to the full that Jesus talks about—we have to go after it His way. What is His way? That’s what we are going to be diving into in the remainder of the next 30 days. See you tomorrow in day 2 of this journey.
Day 1 Freedom Work
Scripture Reading — Read John chapter 10 several times slowly.
Journaling Exercises — Answer the following questions at length in your journal. Aim to write for about 5-7 minutes per question:
- What has been the fruit of porn in your life? What has been its effect on your relationships? Your view of yourself? Your view of others? Has porn led you to the life you want? Where has it led you—to death or life? In what ways?
- What is the life you want? Where could you be in three months, a year, and five years if you stopped struggling with porn? Be very specific here. In this future without porn, what does your family look like? How do you feel personally? If you are married, what does your marriage look like? Is this something you really want, or are you OK with the way things are? If it is something you really want, what is keeping you from stepping into a life without porn?
Prayer — Jesus, I thank you that you have come that I may have life, and have it to the full. Help me to trust you here, and to let go of things that have led me to death. I want life—true life—the life you offer, and I recognize that to get there, I need your leading in my life. You are the good shepherd. Help me to trust that you are leading me to life even when I do not understand what you are doing or asking of me. I repent of my broken attempts to find life outside of you. Help me to make you my very life.